Things sort of went to Hell

Well, I was doing relatively well, started Jillian Michael's Shred (hard but I love it) Turbojam (not so hard but goes by fast and the music rocks), and then my Bodymedia strap broke.

And like a Skinner rat, without the reward of seeing my calorie burn, and the accountability of recording my calories, out went the weight loss effort.

And even with a ridiculous UPS fee, it took forever for the straps to come.

As a gift, I got Turbofire, and a friend who's lost well over 100 pounds with it assures me that I am going to "love love love TurboFire!".

Not sure of my weight exactly, I think it's creeped back up to 254, but I've been avoiding the scale.

Tomorrow, starting the 90 day TurboFire plan.

Something has to work.

Walking my ass off.

248.4
I had a total garbage gut day on Wednesday.
I didn't walk, and felt so hungry.
Day started out ok, just my knees and shins ached, and I thought, ok, I'll do a dvd.
Instead, I ate a ton of junk, almost a whole box of Wheat Thins, bunch of laughing cow cheese, and just went from there onto chips, Caramello, ice cream bar, and it felt like I'd never get full.
It wasn't a feeding frenzy as much as I ate some junk, one of the twins would ask for something, and then I'd eat as much as they did.
After, I felt uncomfortable, and my stomach did the weird distend thing it has done since my hernia repair.
Thursday, I took my usual walk, and my eating was back under control.
It's funny, on the days I don't walk, it's almost like I am eating to get feedback sensation from my body.
One of the reasons I sometimes skip the walk is the ache in my knees, and I am not sure if it's just being obese, or if I need new sneakers.
I know I'm getting older, but when I exercise (and I've exercised to the extreme), I know the difference between good pain (tired, stretched, can't do more but know after some sleep I'll want round two), and bad pain (grinding, sharp, bone on bone agony).
This is the latter.
New sneakers are going on the to buy within two week list.

Rest Day

247.8
My underpants are starting to diaper, as well as my jeans.
I don't want to try on a smaller pair of jeans until I am at 235, as my waist is shrinking much slower than the rest of me, and I don't want to get discouraged.
I have two pairs hanging in my closet, one size smaller, which I am determined to get into by my October 14 deadline.
My yoga pants are starting to swim, and I think another ten and I'll fit into Old Navy's 1X, as they seem built for apple shaped women.
Eating is going well, the bodymedia makes it convenient to keep track and make sure I keep a daily 1k deficient.
Saturday, I didn't take my walk, as I had too many errands to run, and still managed a decent mileage day, maybe half of what I do with a daily walk.
Sunday, I walked and there was still some soreness, mainly in my calves and knees, but I burned a ton of calories, worked up a great dripping sweat, and felt really good after.
Today, got up and felt so stiff.
My knees especially just ached, and after getting the children off to school, came back home and just wanted to crash for a few.
The few turned into a two hour nap, which considering I only got about four hours sleep the night before, was time well spent.
I know the signs of overtraining, but it just shows how far I've let myself go that a walk could give me the symptoms.
Tomorrow's another day.

This is going much faster than eliminating my debt is.

249
11.5 pounds lost since August 30th!
I can fit comfortably into 2X bottoms, and 3X tops billow on me.
Sports bra on (love my Enells) , I fit into a 2X.
My goal by October 14th is fit comfortably into a 1x tee, and a 22 jean.
I usually wear a size bigger top than bottom, so I'll see how the weight comes off.
I want to wear normal size clothes so bad I can taste it, even if it's just being able to shop women's instead of women's plus.
What's crazy is the price differential between plus size and regular clothes, even when the measurements are the same, such as a 1X and XXL.
It's my belly that is my trouble spot.
Ever since I had a hernia repaired maybe two years ago, it looks odd, as if the food is bulging just over the belly button.
The weight is making it worse, more obvious, and if losing the weight doesn't make it less pronounced, surgery may have to be considered.
Going to go do my 11.5 pounds lost happy dance!

251.2 and 386 days to go

251.2
October 11,2012 is the day my Bodymedia has as my weight loss completion date, and that's 386 days to go.
I'm not going to be able to lose two pounds a weak consistently, but it's my BHAG.
It's something to shoot for, a solid finish line, and I need that.
Otherwise, it's just to much to undertake.

So far, I have walked every day since Sunday.
I want to incorporate more running, but the walking itself, not sure if it's because of the hot weather or me having to work up to running, has been draining.
It's a decent enough calorie burn, even walking, burning about 1000 calories, which makes my goal of a 1k a day calorie deficit manageable.
My eating is under control for the most part, and again this is only since Sunday, but I am restricting calories, swapping junk and high calorie food for lower calorie switches, and logging everything that passes my lips.
I really want to incorporate workout dvds, even if it's only short ones to start.
For dinner, I loaded up on iron, with steak, spinach (and seasoned french fries, but got to live a little), and am thinking maybe I need to start eating more protein, as well.
Hopefully, that helps with the tiredness.

Weight Loss Journey

Ever wake up, look in the mirror, and go "what the hell happened?"
Yes, I've been feeling this way for awhile.
After being a hardcore exerciser for a number of years (Tae Kwon Do, old school original Firms, just sweating for hours), I was "thick", big breasts, curvy, attractive.
After four children, I was big, but I got lots of compliments, and most of all, I loved the way I felt.
Strong, capable, knowing my legs (and of course, I) could do anything.
And then came grad school, and balancing that with working way too many hours and trying to be a single mommy, the workouts were the first to go.
And the pounds piled on.
For my birthday last year, I received a bodymedia device, and used it for maybe a couple weeks, saw small results, and then sort of gave up.
It's too easy to comfort myself after a hard day, not enough sleep, and too much to still do with high calorie, nutrition deficient, cheap food.
For some reason, I had an epiphany of sorts about two weeks ago.
I miss being pretty.
I miss turning heads when I walk into a room.
I miss the attention from men.
I miss being able to shop for clothes in normal sizes.
Most of all, I miss actually living my life, as opposed to being on the sidelines of others' lives.
I've often seen the trite saying "Exercise is hard, being fat is hard, choose your hard".
It's hard finding clothes that fit, never mind flatter, my obesity.
It's hard never having energy, being tired all the time, and just feeling old.
My weight keeps me from being an active participant in my own life in so many ways.
If I don't lose the weight now, I most likely will be morbidly obese for the rest of my life.
August 30, I weighed myself, and was 260.5.
Today, I weigh 252.8.
My goal is to lose two pounds a week, and be at 140 (which for me is a great weight), by October 11,2012.
Today, I started by taking a long walk, about 90 minutes. It's through a very hilly part of the city, up and down sharply. Lots of runners were passing me, and when a woman jogged by me, I thought of couch to 5k, and just ran up the hill, for a few 30 second intervals, then walked, then rinsed and repeated.
It felt really good!
I felt like the old me again, if only for those brief periods when I was really moving.
I think I am going to plan on taking long walks daily as long as the weather is decent, and try to do a modified walk/run combo, and try to increase the run time with each walk.
I also have a ton of exercise dvds, and will try to do a second workout daily to speed the weight loss.
To lose two pounds a week, I only need to have a 1000 daily calorie deficit, and the bodymedia is great for tracking that.
Here we go.